#WTFriday--Dino Porn

    Welcome to WTF, the occasional Friday feature where I blog on about some of the weird, wild, and downright stunning things happening on the planet.

If you think I'm sexy..image courtesy of Wikimedia

It’s been a while since I’ve done a WTF post, but this particular post needed to be written ASAP. It’s all over the news in book world—Dino Porn, or if you are so inclined, Dino Erotica, is all the rage. That’s right, somebody out there is making up stories about hot chicks and prehistoric creatures and they have become as popular as a Flintstones cartoon in 1969.

I write, among other things, quirky comedies. And as a writer of quirk, I’ve put some pretty strange stuff into my fiction, from an exploding dead whale, to a loose wrecking ball, to a dump of single shoes from an airplane. Yet I have never in my wildest dreams considered writing about sex with dinosaurs.

And here’s the thing—I’m not thinking “gee, I wish I’d thought of that” as I so often do when another writer comes up with a brilliant idea. No, my thoughts around this are more “that’s too friggin weird to even consider.”

I’ll admit I’ve been tempted to pick up one of these tomes and read it. Sort of in the same way I’m tempted to watch a man bite the head off a chicken. Because it’s so weird, my curiosity is peaked. But one thing I’ve learned over the course of my lifetime is that it’s not always a good idea to give in to curiosity. Because, face it, once you’ve seen the chicken thing or read the dino thing, no amount of anything will ever get those images out of your head. I’ve got enough weirdness residing in my cerebral cortex, thank you very much.

And now, I’ve read an article that suggests some people are turned on by the idea of getting it on with Deeno the Dino. This too, is something I can never get out of my head. Or wrap my brain around, for that matter.

To my mind, a T-Rex is a lot like an alligator, only a lot bigger and a lot less cuddly. I’ve been to Florida, to a park where you can observe alligators in the wild from a gazebo near the shore of swampy pond. I can honestly say that, as I stood there watching these prehistoric-looking creatures wallow in the mud like so many logs, the thought “Oh baby, I’d love to get down and dirty with those bad boys” never once crossed my mind.

Of course, one could argue that T-Rex is the biggest and baddest of the dino boys. Certainly, there are gentler creatures in the dino world,  and you could find a different sort of dino to love,  a dino who would not be inclined to gobble you down like a cocktail weenie at a barbeque should you decide to come on to him. A brontosaurus perhaps. 

Sweet? Maybe. Sexy? Not so much.

To my mind, a brontosaurus is a lot like a steer. On a recent trip to Colorado, I saw many steer grazing in the grass. Again, I can honestly say that, as I watched these gentle creatures munch away, the thought “Look at the shoulders on that hunk of beef over there, he’s sooo hot,” never once crossed my mind. 

The bottom line is, the idea of  inter-species romance kinda makes me squirm and want to rinse out my mouth. Now maybe I’m just uptight,  but I think anyone who’s  having erotic thoughts about a dinosaur ought to seek help right away. I’m sure there’s a support group out there somewhere.