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This week's sample comes from the end of chapter three of the novella:
I stared at her with mouth agape. I could not have
caught her meaning clear.
She turned her eyes from me, her hand continued
to offer out the coat. “I have given you
my heart, Anton. I own that I do not want it back. But
it is difficult for me to fathom why the man that I love would rather keep a
deal with the devil than lay hope in the woman he professes to love.” Tears ran
down her cheeks and I would have taken her in my arms had she not so completely
set me asunder that my own heart bled. I could not allow a woman to run my
life, even if I loved her more than I did that life. I took my coat and my
leave.
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Great excerpt, Ute. There's a real sense of time and atmosphere here
ReplyDeleteThanks Cat!
DeleteI love your word choice- great job at a real feel for the time. I did notice that this one sentence read awkward- "I could not have caught her meaning clear."
ReplyDeleteHave a great Sunday!
Thanks Summer. I'll have another look.
DeleteYou're doing great with evoking the 19th century voice.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elaine!
DeleteWow! Very powerful. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Maggie!
DeleteGreat, well written excerpt. There aren't any physical descriptions but by the word choice you do get a feel of the 19th century.
ReplyDeleteThanks Elyzabeth. It's a challenge to get the dialog right.
DeleteThe dialog definitely puts us in the right century and the right frame of mind - excellent excerpt!
ReplyDeleteThanks Veronica. I'm starting to think like 1852--I'm not sure this is a good thing, LOL.
DeleteYou've certainly captured the feel of the era with your dialogue. Interesting story line as well. Looking forward to the next instalment.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debbie. Hopefully, I'll have another bit written when next Sunday rolls around!
DeleteVery vivid and I felt I stepped back in time. Very well done and I can't wait to see what happens next. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda!
DeleteShe's not trying to run your life. Men can be so thick-headed at times. Can I throw something at him? Please?
ReplyDeleteYeah, go ahead Kate.:) I don't think it will do much good though. He's a nineteenth century man with a nineteenth century mentality. I think Lenora might be able to get to him yet, though.
DeleteOh great snippet. I'm wondering why he thinks she'll run his life. She is crying. That's when you are supposed to embrace her and say, "I love you" back. Lol. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mery. He is a bit stubborn, but he'll come around.
DeleteIt's obvious by the dialogue that you're researched the time period. Great job with using it to enhance the setting!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ed. Historical is something new for me. I love the challenge!
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